Take Me HOME :

2019-12-19

Did some writing on Can U Here Mi NAO? this morning (thoughts are flowing, just not gelling yet), then happened to look at htop, or I guess it was KSysGuard, and noticed how much of my CPU was being eaten up by Mozilla Firefox. Whew! Twice as much as Atom, and I literally have Atom open in two different windows! So, I’m gonna go snag me the Lynx text-only browser. Check the Lynx Browser out HERE : I like to have a browser open with a Thesaurus going while I’m writing, but don’t need something as heavy as Firefox going all the time. You never know when you need to look up a link or something though, so I like having a text-only browser like Lynx or Emacs/W3 open on another Desktop. But I’m not goin’ all Emacs on everyone right now! (Check the Emacs/W3 Browser out HERE if you want though.) I have enough going on, and am complicating everything for everyone, including myself, more than enough lately, so will stop springing ‘new’ (lol @ lynx or emacs being thought of as ‘new’!) tools on everyone every few seconds, and just work with what I’ve got for a minute!

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In that process, however, I went ahead and snagged me htop and strace, just because…
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Why htop when I already have the nice, but semi-bloated KSysGuard?

Why not?
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Which reminded me, I need to study up on all this akonadi crap. All I remember is it being a big mess back in the day. KDE itself is kind of bloated, like Windoze, and tries to be all things to all people, and do all things too! Shit! I like the KDE Plasma Desktop, but do not understand half of what it is doing! Does anybody truly understand akonadi or the PIM (Personal Information Manager)? I miss the XFCE Desktop!

And of course, that reminded me that I still need to finish writing that article, then deal with VirtualBox, Firefox, and take care of all those LuckyBackups!

But no, I tried to escape into a virtual world instead, because I really want to leave the boringness of Debian 10 ‘Buster’ behind and move on up to at least ‘Bullseye’, if not ‘Sid’!
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No, I’m not moving forward from the Debian ‘Stable’ Branch to the ‘Testing’ Branch on my production machine any time soon! There ain’t no going back from that!

But I really need to focus and stop trying to escape, even if it is to learn more!

I did, however, spend far too much time installing Debian 10 ‘Testing’ (‘Bullseye’) as a virtual machine (with a Server and everything!) in QEMU / KVM, making my girlfriend feel somewhat neglected (since I was obviously not focusing on anything that seemed important to her…) – and when I stopped long enough to look at what I was doing, I realized she was right – I was escaping – like I have since I was a kid, by devouring written words on pages and filling my mind up with anything other than whatever it is that I might be escaping at the moment! And today I was escaping food, because it keeps me from writing effectively (muffles the mind), and I was escaping writing: because being an effective writer takes more focus than I was willing to put forth today – obviously! It’s not that I’m not still writing the article, ’Can U Here Mi NAO?'; it’s just grinding away at me, slowly and painfully – getting voluminous and all-inclusive (like always), and it’s generally hopping all over the place like a Mexican Jumping Bean! I’m having trouble saying one thing well, because I feel there is so much that needs to be said, and I feel like I’m the one who has to say all of it, since no one else is! They’re too cowed down and afraid of the mob rules.

So, yeah, I decided that friends and family were important enough to me that I actually pried myself away from technology for long enough to barely reconnect. Even had a wild ride with my daughter! Funny how youth is truly wasted on the young, but they’ll never know that until they are much older. That is, if they live long enough! Yeah, I know – there is a powerful feeling to ‘riding-the-edge’. That doesn’t mean you won’t go over the edge repeatedly in your quest to reestablish where it is – because if the edge isn’t constantly changing its location, you’re fucking doing it wrong! Hilarious, that after a lifetime of fighting authority and refusing to go the way of ‘conformity for conformity’s sake’, I find myself cautioning my daughter to please conform to vehicular conveyance propulsion standards I find acceptable – standards which I freely admit may have changed a sliver since my own teenage years!

Sometimes I feel ‘hoisted with my own petard’…